Scent of a Woman is one of my favorite movies. I find a way to quote it or reference it at least once a quarter. Sometimes it's appropriate, most times it's not.
If you haven't seen this movie yet, you're crazy! I will try to catch you up to speed as quickly as I can: it's about a disgruntled blind man and a younger guy who can see.
In one scene, Al Pacino, the blind man, is in a taxi with Chris O'Donnell, the younger guy who can see. When they get out of the cab, Chris O'Donnell grabs Al Pacino's arm at the elbow, and the following conversation goes down:
A.P.: Are you blind?
C.O.: Wh-wh-what?
A.P.: I SAID...ARE YOU BLIND?!?
C.O.: No...
A.P.: Then why do you keep grabbing my Goddamn arm?! (pause) I TAKE YOUR ARM!!!!
C.O.: Oh...sorry.
A.P.: You don't know any better...you've been watching MTV all your life...
This scene is amusing because Al Pacino's character, Frank, is just SO blunt, but at the same time, concise and witty. I also enjoy the look on Chris O'Donnell's face when his offer to help is declined. It is one of pure shock, disbelief....like he can't comprehend why this handicapped person would refuse his help and would even go as far as to yell at him.
It makes me wonder if there are a lot of people out there like Frank in Scent of a Woman....people with disabilities (or without) who are tired of ignorant people around them grabbing their "goddamn arm"???
I would venture to say that there are quite a few...
Although I have always had the best intentions, I have mistakenly "helped" people in ways that really was no help at all...like the time in college when I ran up to help a woman who had slipped on the ice about 10 feet in front of me. It was the middle of Januray in Indiana and the sidewalk was slippery and uneven due to snow melting, then re-freezing into ice. I was trying my best to be careful as I hussled over to save the day, but when I finally made it to her, I too lost my balance...instead of helping her up, I landed on her. (I'm just glad she wasn't able to reach her mase before I was able to explain that I wasn't actually attacking her.)
There are just too many examples to list!
Offering to push the cart at the grocery store, only to hit the heels of the person I'm shopping with; volunteering to carry items into my friend's new home and breaking or chipping half of them; making dinner...and messing up the recipe with resulting food poisoning for all.
Yes, the list is long and shameful, but what's an accident-prone good samaritan to do?!
The best idea I could come up with was to get into a helping profession that didn't require a whole lot of gross motor coordination....and yet, somehow, I still manage to wreak havoc.
One such incident involved "saving" an eight year old from a life with no friends. I'm just hoping that the assistance I provided doesn't permanently give her an unflattering nickname on top of having no friends.
The girl that was lucky enough to have me helping her was upset because she didn't have anyone to sit with at lunch. My heart broke for her. I racked my brain for a solution and it seemed easy to me.
"Hey! I know some really nice girls that would love to sit with you at lunch!"
This was how my elaborate plan began. Somehow, it evolved into me joining these third grade students for lunch in the cafeteria at a school where I worked (this was my genius plan to help her make friends....SMOOTH).
I had arranged a friend-blind-date with some other third graders I knew. I followed Lucky into the line for food. As I stood there, towering over my fellow patrons, I got several wary, confused stares from the other kids in line. A little boy with tangled-looking hair and a smudge of dirt on his face asked me, "Are you somebody's mom?"
I watched Lucky get her food on a small styrafoam tray and directed her to a table where I could see the other kids I knew.
"Hi girls! Mind if we sit here?" The girls on the other side of the table stared at me and Lucky, but said nothing. I took their silence as consent and motioned for Lucky to grab a seat next to me as I tried to squeeze myself into the small seating area designed for much smaller bodies than mine...bodies with much shorter legs.
As I lifted my knee to clear the bench, it caught the bottom of Lucky's tray, sending it flying into the air. I watched it in horror, unable to stop what was happening. Lucky looked up just in time to get hit in the face with the raining mac 'n' cheese and peas the school cafeteria considered a healthy lunch....
So...again I say, what's a good samaritan to do if she is hopelessly clumsy??? Maybe I should only try to be of assistance to those that are at remote locations from now on...
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